


first or second

by im_really_stressed



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Ficlet/Drabble, Fluff, M/M, Not Canon Compliant!, animals because of course, endgame destroyed me, everyone's alive because duh, farming, ksjksjskjs soft boys, marvel can fuck right off, sambucky - Freeform, steve is not old this time hehe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-03-05 13:10:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18829330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/im_really_stressed/pseuds/im_really_stressed
Summary: sambucky feels because im in shock after endgame.very strong language warning lmao





	first or second

**Author's Note:**

> so i've played like 50 hours of stardew valley in the past week and i just really need a sambucky farm rn

So imagine you're Sam Wilson, and you've spent the day kicking total ass and somehow still managing to not be enough for the racist dickheads out there who think they're gonna change the world with their dumb tweets and articles. Yes, Fox News. I know. I'm a parasite on humanity. You're welcome for saving the world.

And you're imagining you're Sam, and yeah, the last couple years haven't exactly been kind to you, but there are people you love and maybe one of them is a 100 year old ex-assassin, so what? Bucky has been there for you since day one and you honestly couldn't live without him at this point. You're partners at work, partners when fighting, partners in everything except for romance.

And yeah, maybe you want to be partners in romance, but Bucky hasn't hinted at anything, just his normal asshole self.

And maybe Bucky has managed (somehow) to extract himself partially from the whole "Avengers" thing. He still fights, he still technically works for Fury like you do, but he has a life too. Unlike you.

The first thing he did was buy a farm near enough to the Avengers base to work there but far enough that it didn't get blown up on the regular. Then he invited Sam to stay with him when he worked at the base. Then he began his ultimate quest of "buying a shit ton of animals to annoy Sam". It started with goats. Then it was chickens and ducks. Then it was pigs. Then there were sheep, briefly, but they were quickly sent back to their owner when they tried to eat a grill and almost succeeded. Then there were the bunnies (a smash hit with Morgan, and by association, Tony), and then the two dogs, and then there were one, three, six, eight cats. Then he actually started a garden, built some stuff, knocked out a few aliens, and somehow got very close with the kids at a local daycare.

You're still Sam, so you asked him about it a while ago. He laughs for a solid fifteen minutes, which is remarkably unsettling for someone with such a delightful laugh, and gingerly explains that it's not a daycare, it's a "technically illegal" foster home. Bucky is still trying not to laugh at this point, but he manages to get out that it's run by two sisters who look nothing alike- Clara and Naomi, and they make really good pancakes. After the snap (he's not laughing anymore) a lot of kids were left without parents, so Naomi and Clara took them in and returned them to their homes after the unsnappening or whatever it's called now.

Apparently, some people didn't come back after the "unsnappening"- people who were on airplanes that had landed without them, or some of the people on airplanes that crashed without pilots, people who ended up lost without their hiking group, etc. You make Bucky promise to take you next time he visits with the cats.

But Bucky isn't the only person who managed to escape the Avengers curse. Steve ran off back to Brooklyn to fight crime or whatever he does now (it's art, apparently), Tony quit with a loud "fuck you all" and lives beside the lake, taking care of his army of adoptive/not-really-but-he's-totally-a-father-figure children and occasionally lending a robot to help them out. Clint still stops by to shoot some people, but for the most part he's retreated to his farm and has barbecues with Bucky.

Okay, back to the present, Sam.

So imagine you're Sam still, and it takes a whole ass twelve minutes to get home, because you have a very loose definition of public transport and cars and occasionally streets, so it's easier. And you get home, and the entire house is empty, which would be normal if you didn't have eight cats, and the only sound you can hear is laughing from the backyard. So you're Sam, so of course the first thing you do is kick the back door open.

And then imagine you're Sam and the people in the backyard legitimately don't react.

"You're home, dipshit."

"Hey, asshole."

"So, the hinges didn't break this time? Huh. Nice."

You're still Sam, so you turn and look at the hinges, and sure enough- they're fucking huge.

"You put the barn hinges on our back door?"

"Technically, Clint did. But yeah," says Bucky, and because you're Sam, you shoot him your best bitch face and shrug off your wings. "Hey, not on the porch."

You (Sam) kick them into the grass below, and Bucky gives you a half smile and returns to his phone. You can hear shouting just to the side of the house, but because you're imagining you're Sam, you decide it can wait until you've changed into something more comfortable, like the t-shirt you've worn eight hundred times and sweatpants that you and Bucky keep fighting over because they're soft, okay?

So you're still imagining you're Sam and you might as well check out the screaming, but Bucky is already pushing past you to get to the front door, where the doorbell is screaming. You need to get a new one. I mean, Sam needs to get a new one. And imagine you're Sam, so of course you follow him and he yanks the door open, where Steve shoves Peter and MJ and Ned inside with the most exasperated sigh he can manage. MJ manages to keep it cool while Peter and Ned tear out to the back, screaming like children.

"You promised kittens. Where," she says, and it's barely a question.

"Side," Bucky replies, glancing back at his phone, and MJ manages to keep a walking speed until the back door, when she breaks into a huge grin and the fastest sprint you've seen on a kid. I mean, Sam's seen on a teenager.

Alright, I'm getting too confused. You can stop imagining you're Sam now, it's getting weird anyways.

Sam gives Bucky a questioning eyebrow raise. Bucky meets his eyes and breaks out into a teasing grin, and Sam knows he's screwed.

"Morgan's birthday party got cancelled and Effie had kittens. I figured it was appropriate," he explains calmly. "You wanna see them?"

Sam lets himself be pulled out into the madness, where Morgan is being swung around by MJ and Natasha is sat eerily still, petting an appropriately-black-and-green-eyed kitten. Her life has also managed to calm down, and now she's happily kicking ass and rebuilding her family. Sam is surprised to see a bunch of kids he doesn't recognize, and two young women standing off to the side.

"Naomi and Clara," Bucky explains, pointing to each in turn. Naomi (the short one) offers a small wave and then runs to stop one of the boys from biting a goat that headbutted him. A couple of the girls are already playing with Morgan, although Sam can't help but notice (and laugh at) Tony helicoptering beside them.

Morgan turns to look at one of the bunnies and notices Sam and Bucky, offering a quick "one second" to her new friends and tearing over to throw her arms around their legs.

"Sam! Bucky! I made new friends. And Peter's showing them how to build a working gun with legos."

"That's great, M!" Bucky laughs, picking her up with surprising ease and tossing her in the air. She gives them both a shit-eating grin (truly terrifying to see Tony's smile on a child) and leans forward.

"My daddy says he's getting too old to toss me. Don't tell him I told you, okay?" she whispers comically. Bucky cackles- yes, cackles- and sets her down, still smiling.

"Well, why don't you go see if your dad can fight you off when you have Peter's lego gun?"

"He won't let me have it! He says I have to build my own, but I'd rather build a statue."

"I'll pass you one in a bit. Gotta keep it quiet, though, okay? If Sam talks, we'll just throw a bucket of water at him."

Morgan gives them a final giggle and runs back shrieking to her friends while Sam and Bucky stroll through the mayhem that is the party. Half of the adults already have wine in their hands, and those who don't are eating cider donuts. They get intercepted halfway to Steve (who is drinking beer like he wishes he could actually get drunk) by Pepper, who already has her mouth open.

"I-"

"Whatever you're about to say, don't," Bucky interrupts.

"We can't-"

"I mean it."

"I can't believe you actually pulled this together," Pepper finally manages. "Morgan's having so much fun. Just an hour ago she was sobbing about her party being cancelled, and now look at her."

Morgan is pelting Tony with legos, apparently having given up on the gun dream.

"Me either, if I'm honest," Bucky laughs.

"Thank you, Bucky."

"No problem. Now I'm gonna go save Steve from dollar store beer. You should probably rescue Tony." Pepper nods assent, then disappears into the streamers and confetti while Steve strolls over to greet them.

"Teenagers, right?" he huffs, chugging the rest of his cup. Sam can't help but laugh at Steve's dumb shirt, which says in ridiculously large font, "how many apples grow on a tree? all of them" and Steve gives him a light shove. "Tony's fault, blame him."

"I'll blame everything on Tony, gladly," Sam jokes, and the three of them go to sit down on some plastic folding chairs. "How's the art life treating ya?"

Steve smiles, rolling his eyes. "I'm lucky, I teach grad students and not the high-schoolers. Imagine that."

"Hey, who'd you learn about in history today? You," Bucky jokes, calmly throwing a clump of grass at Sam. Sam catches it equally as calmly and lobs it back at Bucky. Steve laughs at them, and suddenly they're back before the snap, before the world turned to dust and their world with it, before children were abandoned, before all the horrible memories, before those five years of trying to move on.

Bucky pretends to smile and excuses himself.

***

It's later that night (and by night I mean early that morning, aka 2 in the morning) when Sam manages to catch Bucky getting water from the kitchen sink.

"Hey man," he says casually. Bucky offers a slight smile back, then starts to head back to his room down the hallway. Sam reaches out with one hand and gently blocks his path, raising an eyebrow. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," Bucky retorts, but his eyes are missing their usual luster and his voice is intentionally flat and rough.

Sam searches his eyes for something. He doesn't know what.

Goddamn Bucky, with his casual flirting, just raising Sam's hopes. Goddamn Bucky, throwing the little kids in the air because the people who were supposed to are gone. Goddamn Bucky, with his clever responses and easy conversation switches, half the time Sam doesn't even notice that he's gotten off the topic he wanted to talk about. Goddamn Bucky, disappearing at the weirdest times and reappearing whenever Sam has come to terms with him being gone for the rest of the day.

"I love you."

Goddamn Sam, with those huge brown eyes and wide smile. Goddamn Sam and his selflessness, good down to the core, always there whenever anyone needed him. Goddamn Sam and his insistence on spreading himself so thin. Goddamn Sam and his surprising tolerance to bullshit thrown his way, the way he can just turn his head and pretend it's not there. Bucky doesn't know how he does it. Every word about Bucky is so clear in his head, the good, the bad, the worse. Somehow, Sam knows how to decide who is worth listening to.

"How?"

The room is so silent early in the morning that the thud of tears against the tile floor is less of an unnoticed- somehow, here, in this moment, it's as though the sound is louder than Bucky's own heartbeat.

And then there's Sam.

Sam doesn't have serum running through his veins. Sam can't hear his tears landing. Sam can't hear his heartbeat.

But he can feel it, so he takes Bucky's hand in his own and slowly pulls him through the hallways into his own bedroom, making him sit down and curl up while Sam rearranges the table and turns off his alarm. He can be late to work, just this morning. Hell, he deserves to be selfish just this once.

It's when the lights are off, when Sam is clutching Bucky's wrist again, feeling that steady, if a little fast, heartbeat. It's when their shins are pressed together, and Bucky's hair is strewn across the pillow.

His voice is louder than everything, louder than the heartbeat, louder than tears falling. His voice is the only thing Sam cares about in that moment.

"I love you too."


End file.
